Being Married is NOT for the faint of heart. We have what seems to be so many obstacles standing in the way of a Happy Union. Your unmarried friends who have adapted the single ladies mantra “I don’t need a man!” Giving you fifty-leven reasons on why they would never want to be married. You have your married friends that would sooner walk in front of a moving vehicle than to spend 3 minutes alone with the person they chose to spend the rest of their lives with. And then theres YOU. Unhappy. Unfulfilled. Unloving. Annoyed. And Angry as hell!
How do we change this pandemic? Yes I said Pandemic: prevalent over a whole country or the world, widespread, pervasive, rife and rampant. I want you to name 5 happy married couples that you know on an intimate level who are friends to your marriage…I’ll wait!
The only way to change this reality and shift the paradigm is to start with the WOMBman in the mirror! Out of our wombs have come every great achievement, accomplishment, catalyst, or revolution; be it through a man or woman. We are the first god to our children, we are the first teachers, we are the first healers, first nurturers, I mean come on…WE EFFN ROCK! Why aren’t we walking in that knowledge and power and making the change necessary in our lives, our families, our communities and the world over!?
I talked about our pain as women in the last article. How we have to work through our pain and hurt, we have to dance through the darkness and be that light that emerges as the most spectacular creation to walk this earth..Woman. What have you done lately to assess what is ailing you? What have you done lately to determine what gives you life and feeds your soul? What have you done lately for yourself? Solely for your own benefit, knowing you are the greatest good because when you are operating in your nature everyone benefits! So again I ask, what have you done for YOU lately? (insert Janet Jackson dancers here)
Tina Campbell, of Mary Mary, the three time grammy award winning duo caught a lot of heat just recently; she stated all the things she has done to contribute to the breakdown in her marriage and what she needed to do to get herself together and repair the damage that has taken place! The things she mentioned she needed to work on had very little to do with being a wife in my opinion, and much more to do with being a decent, loving, compassionate HUMAN BEING! You would have thought she walked down Santa Monica Blvd. Butterball Naked with only a sign on her back that read Jesus Saves the way media, bloggers and fans reacted!!!!!
Of course she is not to blame for her husband deciding to desecrate his marriage and union by having an extramarital affair. However, if she has decided to stay in the marriage and restore what has been lost to produce something even better, what good will it do to talk about all the things he needs to do, and all the things he needs to change, when she CLEARLY has no control over what he will and will not do!!! She can only control herself and determine what changes need to be made on her behalf for her own healing and the healing of that marriage!
We have become a world with no accountability, no self-analysis and correction, we want to blame our mamas, daddies; or the lack thereof. Blame our uncles, aunties and husbands for our unhappy lives when all along our own happiness is our own responsibility. I guarantee you, if you become a happy woman, being a happy wife will be the least of your worries!
I want us to really get something out of this series, I want us to become Deliriously Happy Wives, and the only way to do that is to become a happy woman. What are we doing to become happy women? I have some ideas, but I’d like to know yours, so please comment below.
We are in this together! All of the answers we desire are in the collective. We are the questions and the answers, so please, don’t be shy…JUMP IN the water’s F*cking Fantastic!
In All Things Passionate,
Written by: Reah Idris
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